Estrangement and What's Next

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In December 2025, I wrote a piece for Together Estranged entitled “Estrangement and ‘Getting Over It’.”  In that article, I wrote about a friend, who had mid-conflict, told me to stop using my estrangement as an excuse for my poor behavior; especially, since my estrangement had been ongoing for so many years.  In other words, “Why aren’t you over this by now?  You should be!” was the subtext. Many years later, I still think about this. 

I have been writing a monthly column for Together Estranged for exactly 2 years now, outlining my personal experience with estrangement.  Looking back, I’m amazed that the topics came so easily to me month after month, and I think this is mostly because estrangement is so pervasive.  Yes, it affects your direct relationships from those you are estranged from, but the ramifications of being estranged directly impact on your overall thoughts, actions, beliefs, and how you generally choose to move through life on a daily basis. But lately, I have been thinking, has writing about my estrangement for this long prevented me from processing and eventually moving through it to the other side?  Am I re-living the hurt and trauma by writing about how broken I am from it every single month? 

On the one hand, being able to share my story has helped me tremendously get past the shame and stigma of being estranged.  I was able to face a difficult topic head on, wade through the uncomfortableness, and express myself from my point of view.  It finally felt like my voice was being heard.  And I appreciate all of the support and love that I have received over the past 2 years in response to exposing my life and being so vulnerable.

But I think the time has come to finally stop immersing myself in the topic of estrangement and start focusing on what is next.  The anger, hurt, resentment, jealousy and frustration that I have expressed as a result of my estrangement over the past 2 years needs to finally be tackled in order to achieve the peaceful life I desperately envision for myself.  I’m not sure if this is the correct tactic, but only time will tell. 

I want to say thank you to everyone at Together Estranged, and all of the readers who took the time to read my words so carefully.  Thank you for finally making the girl who always felt she had to make herself as small and quiet as possible have a voice.  I wish you all the best going forward.  I know this journey that you are on.  I’m still on it.  Support each other and be kind to each other.  Everyone is struggling, but at least this group can help each other make it through.