Journaling Through Estrangement

“Journal writing is a voyage to the interior.” — Christina Baldwin

Rooted Wellbeing- A monthly series exploring everyday wellbeing practices for healing and growth, simple, inclusive, and accessible ways to support ourselves through the challenges of estrangement. Gentle invitations to pause, reconnect with yourself, and grow small roots of steadiness and care.

I’m Jules, an Integrative Counsellor, Coach and Wellbeing Facilitator. Through this series, I share practices that have supported me and the communities I work with, including my own lived experience of estrangement. My hope is that each piece offers something you may want to explore or gently lean into, as a reminder that we can find small moments of steadiness, reflection, space to express and connection.

What is Journaling?

Journaling can look different for everyone, it may be words in a notebook, notes on your phone, typing on a laptop, doodles on the back of an envelope, drawing and sketches, using nature forages or voice notes recorded on a walk. It can be a space to give your thoughts, feelings, and experiences somewhere to land, a space where you can be completely honest with no filters, no expectations, no right or wrong. For some, it’s a daily ritual, for others it’s something we can come back to when life feels messy or loud. 

I’ve found that creating a little space or ritual around journaling can help make it feel grounding and a bit special. I often light a candle, my favourite mug filled with a strong Earl Grey, I’ve made Spotify play lists with my favourite Lo-Fi tunes, I put on a cosy jumper and find a space that feels safe to explore and express, my dog usually finds his way to cosying in beside me.

You may find journaling can bring up fear or resistance, or the worry about someone finding or reading what we have written especially if we have grown up in environments where privacy wasn’t always respected. If that’s the case, you may want to type in a password-protected note on your phone, write and then tear up the pages, or even scribble in ways that only make sense to you, journaling is for you and only you.

The Morning Pages 

I’ve been journaling on and off for years. It's one of  my go to’s I keep coming back to when life feels like a bit of a tangled mess in my head. Sometimes it helps me to reflect and make sense of things; other times it’s just a way to get everything out of my head before it spills over.

But if I’m honest, this past year I’ve really struggled to journal, I’ve been navigating some big life situations and I’ve noticed that when things feel too painful or overwhelming, my journaling tends to stop,

It’s like a part of me quietly says,

 “No, I'm not ready to look at that yet.”

When I notice this, I try not to push, it usually means there are parts of me in protection or a Freeze state and that’s okay. But I’ve been missing my journaling, the small daily ritual that helps me thaw and breathe again.

So, this month as part of my Rooted Wellbeing Inner Pilgrimage, I’m going back to something familiar Morning Pages, from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. The book has been a fellow traveller with me on my healing journey, I often go back to it time and time again, to connect in with the creative parts of me and to gently go back to a journaling ritual. 

The Artists Way can be supportive to connecting in with our creativity, but its real support is for connecting and opening up parts of ourselves that may have been hiding or curiously exploring inner parts we may not have met…. yet.

It invites the reader to write three pages every morning, this may feel a lot when we first start journaling and if this feels too much, start simple, three words, a scribble, or a sentence is a way to just get pen to paper. I like to call my Morning Pages “get the shit out of my head pages” there’s no structure, my handwriting looks like gobbledygook nonsense and three pages of whatever is needing to get out. It might be a shopping list, a random doodle, a rant…its often a rant, or a jumble of thoughts. The point is that it doesn't have to be poetic, fancy or even make sense; the Morning Pages gives us the space to give our thoughts somewhere to land so they don’t have to live rent-free in our heads.

My particular flavour of neurospiceyness leads me often on the hunt for the elusive magical notebook and sparkly pens. I tell myself, “This is the one, this is the journal where I’ll finally write every day!”

Why Journaling can be Supportive.

Estrangement, low contact, or complicated family dynamics can often bring up so many feelings; relief, anger, confusion, guilt, grief, numbness, sometimes all in the same breath. Journaling can’t fix any of that, but it can offer a small, safe space to be honest, to release some of the feelings, to witness ourselves, and to soften some of the weight we may be carrying.

Here’s how it can help:

• Making sense of the mess: Writing helps us to untangle our thoughts and feelings  or at least notice what’s there without judgment.

• Releasing pressure: Some things are too hard to say out loud. A journal doesn’t talk back, interrupt, or tell us to move on. It just holds space.

• Calming the nervous system: Getting thoughts out of our heads and onto paper can help our brains stop looping and settle.

• Tracking your healing: Looking back even months or years later, it can remind us how far we may have come, even if progress feels slow.

Different Ways to Journal

There’s no one right way to do it, adapting it to whatever feels most doable:

• Morning Pages: Three pages of unfiltered writing each morning (or whenever suits you).

• Brain dump: A no-filter splurge thoughts, doodles, swear words, shopping lists, whatever’s in your head.

• Typed or spoken: Using phone notes or voice memos. 

• Scribble journaling: Draw shapes, colours, or lines that match the mood.

If the blank page feels intimidating, trying guided journaling sessions on YouTube or Insight Timer are a great way to start with a little structure and kindness. 

Journaling in Community

I really value journaling with others, there’s something about sharing space where we are all doing our own thing, no questions asked, no judgements made and the accountability of this chosen time to focus on what we all want to explore. I’ve found a great online and F2F writing space Shut up and write that anyone can attend for free where communities around the world can write together. 

If you’re new to journaling or returning after a break, a couple of supportive tips;

1. Keep it simple. Even two sentences is enough.

2. Forget the rules. Spelling, grammar, neatness, none of it matters.

3. Stay curious. Let whatever comes up be okay.

4. Set a timer. Try 5–10 minutes to start.

5. Make it private. You don’t have to read it back or share it.

Free or Low-Cost Journaling Resources

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron – The original Morning Pages guide.

Insight Timer App – Often has free recorded and live guided journaling meditations and reflections.

Link to 21 ways to journal – some great ways to explore your journaling experience

YouTube: Search “Morning Pages Julia Cameron” or “Journaling for Healing.”

Shut up and write- Free Online and F2F spaces for people to write. 

We have a free journaling workshop at Together Estranged as part of The Togetherness Series 

Workshop Session with Megan Margherio on Rebuilding Identity

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” – Brené Brown