Horses, Healing and Finding Connection

Photo permission -Vanessa and Wheezy

"Animals have a remarkable way of meeting us exactly where we are." Vanessa Murphy

Through Rooted Wellbeing, I’m interested in exploring different ways that can support our wellbeing and emotional healing through estrangement in accessible and compassionate ways.

For many of us who have experienced family estrangement, life can sometimes feel lonely, complicated, and emotionally exhausting. Alongside the loss of family relationships, there can often be grief for what was, what wasn't, and what we hoped might have been. During these times, safe enough spaces, people and experiences that help us to feel safe, connected, and grounded can be incredibly important.

Healing doesn't always happen through talking, sometimes it begins through small moments of connection; spending time in nature, being creative, sharing a laugh with others, or being alongside an animal who asks nothing of us except our presence. Animals seem to have a remarkable way of meeting us exactly where we are, they don't ask us to explain ourselves or justify our feelings. They simply respond to kindness, consistency, and care, for many of us this can bring a sense of calm, companionship, and connection.

Photo credit: Shutterstock.com

Horses are particularly fascinating because they are highly attuned to body language and emotion, rather than responding to our words, they often respond to how we are feeling and holding ourselves. In doing so, they can gently encourage us to slow down, become more aware of ourselves, and reconnect with the present moment.

There is no single path to healing, and horse-based wellbeing work may not be for everyone, yet for many, spending time alongside these intuitive animals can become an important part of navigating grief, stress, trauma, life transitions, or simply finding their way back to themselves. 

I wanted to learn more about horse-based wellbeing and the impact spending time with horses can have on our emotional wellbeing, especially in estrangement, but I’ve been hesitant. Horses have been something I have been nervous of since I was little and a horse riding incident put me off horses for many years. I also know that there is so much healing in spending time with animals and Equine therapy has been known to be a powerful support for many people especially with trauma. Curious to learn more I decided to explore this further and spoke with Vanessa Murphy, who is part of a Breathwork and Healing community I am in. Vanessa kindly shared her experience of attending The Stable Lives, an equine therapy and healing project, during a particularly difficult period in her life.

Horses, Healing and Finding Our Way Back to Ourselves

Vanessa discovered The Stable Lives project during a period of grief following the death of her dad. Looking back at that time, she described her grief as "a very up, down and sideways ride" and was searching for something that could help her feel more connected and purposeful.

"I needed something to give me purpose, making the commitment to myself."

Each week at The Stable Lives Project participants in the morning would spend time caring for rescue horses. Helping with practical tasks such as mucking out stables, feeding and grooming, before taking part in creative activities such as crafts and origami in the afternoon.

At first glance, mucking out stables might not sound like a great wellbeing activity, getting stuck in with muddy boots, shared laughter, and a horse trying to wander off when there is work to be done. While the practical tasks were important, Vanessa found something deeply healing in the routine, connection, and shared experience.

"Knowing you are not the only one who feels like this, being with others and not feeling so alone."

Many of the horses at The Stable Lives Project had experienced neglect or difficult beginnings, through patience, consistency, and care they were rehabilitated and learned to trust again. 

"My horse was called Wheezy, who was always making mischief, always off on adventures."

Vanessa reflected on how much horses communicate through body language and energy, building up trust between the horse and the participants; she shared how she learnt.

"Matching the horse's energy with the human's energy and body language, intuition and how to hold yourself around them."

Many people involved in horse-based wellbeing speak about how horses encourage us to slow down and become more aware of ourselves, when I asked Vanessa what horses can teach us about wellbeing, her answer felt beautifully simple:

"Stay calm, do not overthink things. As humans we can overcomplicate, they just be and they just do."

There’s something so powerful in that reminder. In our busy lives that can pull us in many different directions, animals can gently invite us to slow down and come back into the present moment. Alongside caring for the horses, Vanessa found connection with the people around her.

"The staff create a welcoming environment, making it feel so safe. Bringing the group together through shared experiences, laughter, joy, taking care of the horses, it didn't feel forced."

That sense of safety, belonging, and shared experience can be especially important for many of us navigating grief, estrangement, overwhelm, or other difficult life experiences.

Since completing the course, Vanessa has noticed gentle changes in her life. She has rejoined her local yoga studio, spends more time reading, enjoys being outdoors with her dogs, and recently signed up for a sewing course.

"Since doing The Stable Lives course it's given me a little nudge in the right direction."

I was struck by her use of the word nudge, healing is often spoken about as a dramatic breakthrough, but more often it arrives quietly through small moments, meaningful connections, regulating with others including animals, supportive communities, tiny steps towards ourselves and experiences that help us feel more settled, connected, and ourselves again.

Photo credit: Shutterstock.com

Please note Vanessa Murphy has given permission for her name to be used, her experiences within this article and photo to be shared 

Rooted Wellbeing is a monthly series exploring everyday wellbeing practices for healing and growth in simple, inclusive, and accessible ways to support ourselves through the challenges of estrangement. Offering gentle invitations to pause, reconnect, and grow small roots of steadiness and care.

I'm Jules, an Integrative Counsellor, Somatic Therapist in Training, and Wellbeing Coach & Facilitator. Through these blogs, I share practices that have supported me and the communities I work with, alongside my own lived experience of estrangement. You can find me here- www.communitycounselling-wellbeing.co.uk